1. You will likely suffer from high blood pressure or a heart attack while attending the game or watching it on TV. Have prior arrangements made with the local hospital for your arrival.
2. When the decision for OUT/NOT OUT is pending, it must be defeated by praying. No questions asked.
3. A supporter must scream at least one obscenity (either at the player or at the TV) if something goes wrong. Everybody enjoys a good heckle, whether it’s telling a player how poorly they are playing or something about his mother.
4. If you’re not dressed in a Pakistan cricket jersey, painted green from head-to-toe or not waving or wearing a Pakistani flag it will be your fault if they lose.
5. Have a radio on standby if a power outage is imminent.
6. We are an unpredictable team…never count them out. If Pakistan needs 100 runs to win with 1 wicket remaining, 50% of the time they will win.
7. Opposing teams’ fans should be ignored until after we beat them….that’s when we heckle them out of the ground. In rivalries however , all bets are off. Your rival is the scum of the Earth and you should let him or her know about it.
8. After hitting that clutch six in the final overs of a game, you should proceed to slap everyone’s hand and jump up and down.
9. If we hit a six, four or bowl someone out, let the world know on Twitter and Facebook (and how happy you are).
10. If you see Chacha Cricket in the stands, say hello.
11. If we lose the match, write down all the possible reasons why the match was fixed and who the most likely culprit is.
12. Punch anyone in the kidney who attends to their mobile during the match. No excuses.
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