Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
12 Rules for being a Pakistan cricket supporter
1. You will likely suffer from high blood pressure or a heart attack while attending the game or watching it on TV. Have prior arrangements made with the local hospital for your arrival.
2. When the decision for OUT/NOT OUT is pending, it must be defeated by praying. No questions asked.
3. A supporter must scream at least one obscenity (either at the player or at the TV) if something goes wrong. Everybody enjoys a good heckle, whether it’s telling a player how poorly they are playing or something about his mother.
4. If you’re not dressed in a Pakistan cricket jersey, painted green from head-to-toe or not waving or wearing a Pakistani flag it will be your fault if they lose.
5. Have a radio on standby if a power outage is imminent.
6. We are an unpredictable team…never count them out. If Pakistan needs 100 runs to win with 1 wicket remaining, 50% of the time they will win.
7. Opposing teams’ fans should be ignored until after we beat them….that’s when we heckle them out of the ground. In rivalries however , all bets are off. Your rival is the scum of the Earth and you should let him or her know about it.
8. After hitting that clutch six in the final overs of a game, you should proceed to slap everyone’s hand and jump up and down.
9. If we hit a six, four or bowl someone out, let the world know on Twitter and Facebook (and how happy you are).
10. If you see Chacha Cricket in the stands, say hello.
11. If we lose the match, write down all the possible reasons why the match was fixed and who the most likely culprit is.
12. Punch anyone in the kidney who attends to their mobile during the match. No excuses.
A Guide To Punjabi Curses
Ø Ja Pehn Yahvaa: Go away
Ø Teri Bund PaaR Deyanga: I don’t like you.
Ø Teri Bund PaaR Ke Hath Ich PhaRa Deyanga: I really don’t like you.
Ø Aa, Kutteya, Dalleya, Kanjara!: I like you!
Ø Zehn Nu LoRay Lag Gaye Ne: I am confused.
Ø Changi Bund Band Hoi Ai: I am worried.
Ø Bund Ich Khurak Hundi Ai: I want to do something inadvisable.
Ø TeriaN KyoN JhuwaN SaRdiaN Ne?: What’s it to you?
Ø Aeh Kee Lulbaazi Ai?: This is not right.
Ø Meri Bund Maar Lao: I give up, I’ve had enough.
Ø Laala Musa KhariaN, tey Pehn Yuhaan SavariaN: I am going to do whatever I want.
Ø Kithay Bund Maraan Jaana Aen?: Where are you going?
Ø TuN Kithay Pehn Yuhan Gaya Si?: Where have you been?
Ø Lun Baabay Da!: No way!
Ø MaaiN Dhui Vich Daang Le Leya Ai: I have gotten myself into trouble.
Ø Hun Lun PhaR Ke Beh Ravo: Nothing can be done now.
Ø Kisay Vele Bund Nai Vi Marvaai Di: Don't just sit there, do something useful for once.
Ø Tenu Bund Vich Taar Aaee Ai?: And how do you know this?
Ø TuN Nira Lun ‘i Ain: I am disappointed in you.
Ø TuN Aap Hi Ungal Layi Honi Aey: It’s your fault.
Ø Oudhi Maa Nu Kuttay zheen: I hope it doesn’t work out for him.
Ø Onhe meri Bund Leeti: He criticized me.
Ø Onhe Meri Bund Ich BaaN Pai Ai: He won’t let me off the hook.
Ø Oda Phuddu Lagga Ai: He's very lucky.
Ø Ai BaRa Gandoo Ai: He's very clever.
Ø Tu’i Khaali Kar Ditti Su: He’s given up.
Ø Lun Te Chand Maari Keeti Su: That hurt on a personal level.
Ø Pehn Di Lun!: This is amazing!
Ø BundaaN PaaR Deyaan Ge!: We shall triumph.
Ø TussaN Ki Yehn Khata Kholeya Ai: I do not trust your establishment.
Ø Ullo Da Patha!: I can’t curse because the kids are listening.